PR Failure: The KangKung Protest

Note: This article contains heavy references to specific politics. If this is not down your alley, I urge discretion. This article was originally published sometime January, but due to concerns for my own safety I retracted it and am re-publishing it now (as the topic is not so hot and I am in a safe area). Enjoy.

Politicians are always on the forefront of the news. Like products, we can view the marketing of celebrities as a form of brand management. Instead of a company or product, however, the brand is the person.

Politicians are especially tricky. They must try to sell themselves as competent, trustworthy, likeable, while maintaining the view of mutual interest. This is especially tricky if the politician (like many out there) is none of these things.


Nonetheless, celebrities such as politicians have it hard, trying to walk a fine line in the public eye, which seems to always be on them. They do not make millions like normal celebrities (at least not on paper), and we can hardly criticize them for making mistakes when the fame they have gathered was not asked for. They’re only trying to ruin the country. Oops I meant “run”, but my backspace is not working.

One particular politician I enjoy is my country’s Prime Minister (Let’s call him Colin for the purposes of this article), and the party he represents (I like to call them Bloody Nuisance. Yeah? Um..No?). His story is very close to home, and he always offers brilliant cases for marketing analysis. Colin’s incredible success in gaining worldwide attention consistently is one which I feel is understudied. This success can be attributed to a natural knack for knowing exactly what to say at the right time. Celebrities such as Kanye West can learn from his genius.

Popular statements from the not-so-distant past includes his attempt at uniting my country as “One”. A statement I find as incredible as when my cousin peed on my basketball and told me it was better that way. Colin’s government must indeed be commended for their creativity and innovation.

Colin’s other statements during the recent election not only garnered attention, but changed the stance of so many supporters. Particularly when he gave awareness to racial weather conditions… a certain tsunami. This undoubtedly saved many lives which could have been lost. In marketing, an attitude change of that scale is phenomenal. Not only has he shown his generosity in spending public funds on Psy, but (are we ready? Are we ready? Are we ready?) he has also shown his level of consideration and his level of understanding when he commented recently on price hikes occurring in the country.

If one is not currently aware, Colin was recently featured in many prominent news stations internationally (BBC) on his insight on the price of KangKung (A type of tropical watercress). This insight was incredibly well received, as it detailed how price hikes throughout my country on goods and services could not possibly be attributed to raising government subsidized petrol, and other commodities. Colin enlightened his people as he illustrated through economics how KangKung (with its exacting similarity to all other categories of goods) has actually decreased in price recently. He also showed how it was heavily dependent on weather conditions, which he has not yet had control over. Thus, it was unfair for citizens to complain of rising prices when the government is so helpless and not to blame, even if the government did promise lower prices for everyone during the recent election.

In this spirit, many citizens of my country have gained new awareness of the benefits of eating and focusing on the price of KangKung. As a vegetarian myself, I highly support this move.

Some of the more recent developments include:

  • The recent proposal for all toll routes to accept KangKong as a currency
  • The proposal to rename KFC to KFB (KangKung Fried Balachan)
  • The creation of KangKung burgers which is soon to become a national food
  • The sale of KangKung merchandise such as shirts and decorative mugs
  • The use of KangKung as a prop in photos and movies, replacing the “Asian peace” sign

So in the spirit of national pride, I too have come up with a few healthy dishes incorporating our new national vegetable. Here they are:

KangKung vegetable spring rolls


KangKung carrot skewers


The KangKung Appetizer ‘Surprise’


*In time of writing this article, the price of KangKung may have increased due to increased media attention and demand. Ironically marring the meaning behind Colin’s statements. But even though his statement may be outdated, we will always remember Colin as special for his intellect and courage.


*Disclaimer: this work is intended for entertainment and education purposes only, and should not be regarded over-seriously. Especially if you’re a government worker reading this. In fact, if you are, please consider this all as fiction. I actually don’t mean any of it. Actually, I’m not even from the country. I’m not even human. I am a vegetable named bob. Bob is grown in the fields of East Africa. Thanks for your understanding and purchase of this unknown vegetable, we hope to see you again.

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